Elwood Scott
Author
Podcaster
Newsletter Writer
#8 February 2024
Hey There
Greetings from sunny, no wait, it’s cloudy, downtown Melbourne.
I’ve often heard people say that truth is stranger than fiction (which I just always assumed was because they’d never watched The Human Centipede).
But let me tell you about a friend of mine, who just got back from a family holiday in Switzerland. I’ll call him Steve – because his name is Steve.
Steve told me that while they were having lunch at a cafe in Basel, he started talking to the family at the table next to them. Mum, Dad, two kids a couple of years older than his.
Steve said they were surprised when the lady, who I’ll call Mary – because I’d stopped paying attention and can’t remember her name, had an Australian accent.
“What a coincidence!” he said. “Where are you from?” (now while this may appear to be a friendly gesture by Steve, it is in fact just him looking for an opportunity to say he does Crossfit).
“Victoria,” Mary replied, also surprised by Steve’s Aussie accent. “We’re about 90 minutes out of the city in Ringwood.”
Steve said his mouth dropped open in shock. “That’s where we live!” He leant forward. “I got to the Crossfit gym in the main street.”
“Oh, I know that place,” Mary nods. “I work part time at the lottery counter in the paper shop just across the street!”
Long story short (I’ll spare you Steve’s Crossfit routine) it turns out that not only do they live in the same town, their kids go to the same school, they regularly catch the same train to work and get off at the same stop… And! Get ready for this… live two blocks away from each other!
“Gosh!” I exclaimed to Steve in this Safe-For-Work version of our conversation.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “You should make it a scene in one of those book things you write,” he paused. “You could add some of my Crossfit routines.”
“Or… I could not,” I didn’t say. Instead I politely explained that it wouldn’t really fit into Colin Calls the Help Desk 2 – Electric Boogaloo (working title, open to suggestions, available soon).
Not because it’s a bad story. It’s a great story (sans crossfit). I can even picture how I would write it as a scene.
I’d lay it out over a few pages. Slowly add more and more of the small coincidences. I’d include descriptions of the cafe, other customers, the atmosphere and overall vibe (whether it would still take place in Switzerland I couldn’t say. I’ve never been there, so I don’t know whether it’s a good location or not – although I know the flag is a big plus).
Anyway… my point is – yes, that is a great story, but…
Imagine reading that scene as a flashback in the best-selling murder mystery – ‘Who killed Mary Whatshername’ (available September 2024) to show how the two main characters first met.
I suspect the reaction would be something like:
“Ah, I love a back story”… “Hmm, wouldn’t the kids have bumped into each other at school?”… “Uhhh, it seems unlikely that they never saw each other on the train”… “Wait, what? They live how far apart?”… “Are you f**king kidding me!”…
“Hey, does anyone know how to get a refund on a Kindle book?”
Anyway, because I’m far better at procrastinating than writing newsletters; I decided it was important to google ‘Amazing Coincidences’ – so you don’t have to (you’re welcome). Here’s a few of them:
There’s a surprising number of married couples who, while discussing their childhood holidays, have discovered their partner in the background of one of their photos.
The comic book character Dennis the Menace debuted in the USA on March 19 1951. In the UK, a comic book character called Dennis the Menace (but a different one) made his first appearance… on March 19, 1951. Nope, not a typo. There was no plagiarism, and the creators had no idea about the other one.
How many times do you think the same winning lottery numbers would come up in the same lottery – within a couple of weeks of each other?
Well here’s three: Bulgaria – 2009, Israel – 2010, and North Carolina – 2007.
And on the lottery theme, I’ll leave you with this one…
In June 1980, Maureen Wilcox bought two lottery tickets. One for the Massachusetts lottery, and another for the Rhode island one. And guess what? Both had the winning numbers! Incredible!
Except…
The winning numbers; were on the opposite tickets – The Rhode island ticket had the winning numbers for Massachusetts, and vice versa. I imagine she must have been miffed.
Anyway, back to writing and Steve’s story… Yes, on the surface, it does sound like the perfect surprise plot twist to discover that Maureen (who is secretly a relentless serial killer – specifically of lottery ticket sellers) was also sitting in that same cafe, and poisons Mary before the fries have gone cold.
The problem is; Steve’s story is so unbelievable, that it’s… well… unbelievable, despite being completely true (the lunch part, not killing Mary) and because of that, it would make a terrible scene in a book.
So I think the moral of this newsletter is – Truth often is stranger than fiction. And that it’s probably best to avoid people who go to Crossfit.
Bonus Content!
For new subscribers – I work in cybersecurity, so I like to take the opportunity to spread a little bit of info to help keep people safe online.
This month – Romance Scams
Romance scams suck, and coming up to Valentines Day (also a scam, just a corporate one) they can become even more popular.
A Romance scam is exactly what it says on the label – a scammer pretends to be in love with their target, but instead of being in a relationship, they are draining the victim’s bank accounts. The scammers can be very convincing, and know how to emotionally manipulate others.
It’s kind of like a first marriage, except that the whole thing’s online.
These scammers often turn up on dating apps, or can even DM someone out of the blue on social media asking to be ‘friends’.
Common items that should be seen as red flags:
The person is in the military, or a job that requires them to work remotely, making them difficult to contact or have a phone/video call.
They want to quickly move off the dating app and message directly
They declare undying love constantly and far too soon (this is a technique called love-bombing)
Any plans made to meet in real life always fall through at the last minute
They need help with something money related.
If you think someone you know might be caught in a Romance scam, talk to a professional organisation that provides support. This is going to be a bad news story for them whatever the outcome. It’s important to be empathetic, but you could also remind them that it could be worse…
They could be doing Crossfit.
Well, I think that about wraps it up for Issue 8, thanks for tuning in.
Cheers till next month
Elwood
Elwood Scott 